The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
