shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
