Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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