Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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