my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
