Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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