it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
