I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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