You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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