I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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