i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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