Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
