Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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