Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
