So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
