Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
