we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
