my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
