I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
