The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
