lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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