I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize