Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
