My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
