I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This is my gift to your gina
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize