a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
