at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
