and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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