How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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