return my video game
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
