South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
