Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i've created a new STD.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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