y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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