I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
