I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
