Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
