watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
