I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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