Where is the hickey?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
