Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
