No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
