oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
