I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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