Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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