god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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