I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
