We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
