The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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