Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the gays at disneyland are vicious
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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