That's intense
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize