Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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