fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
