I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
