Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The air was thick with penises
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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