I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
