Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
