After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
