Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was born a porn star she said
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
