man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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