Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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