last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
